3rd Edition Office Quote Book 2010

**Office Quote Book 3rd edition 2010**

Another edition of "actually overheard in our office" for your reading pleasure. ;)


There are two sides to every coin. Heads, I win; tails, you lose….

I love public television. Where else can you get a 15 minute commercial about not having commercials?

You can't fix old. I hate wrinkles. It's like ten miles of bad road.

Yeah, it's harder to get bigger than that….That would be a mammoth whale.

If you work in a mortuary, and business is dying, is that a good thing?

Thank you for asking. Or requesting. I'm not sure which word is best.

Young Suhn got the Gong 'cause he was wrong. Hong Kong bells do not go 'ding dong, ding dong.' They have a more sing-song bong bong, like in the movie with King Kong.

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

You lookin' like you think you look like somethin,' but all the while you're just kin to the 'Keys….the MONkeys….

You're just a mule peepin' out from under the shelter.

Yeah, my flicker is definitely broken.

That's just what we need, popcorn scented plastic. Is your car weighed down? Just eat your backseat.

C'mon. LOOK at my office. Now, how could anything get lost in here?

Why you messin' up your face like that when you eat? You look like a cat chewing a wasp.

Wisdom is what Knowledge wants to be when it grows up.

You're fine? You're lyin'. Or else you need to tell your face.

Beelzebub…I like saying it -- it kinda makes your tongue tickle! Beelzebub, Beelzebub, Beelzebub….

Hey you woodchucks! Quit chuckin' all my wood!

Pocket-protector children shouldn't be allowed to do things for other people.

Wait, without my glasses on I can't hear well, now what did you say?

Just tell 'em people in Hell want ice water.

All the weather man had to say was there was a chance of snow, and the car would start slipping and and spinning and sliding backwards…..




(…and the following are a few from a recent email forward that was making the rounds)

• If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station….
• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.


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